LIVING FABULOUSLY AFTER SEPARATION OR DIVORCE

Living fabulously after separation/divorce requires us to take time to not only grieve the ending of the relationship but also the breakdown of many other important life structures. For example; we may need to re-establish parenting arrangements, restructure our financial responsibilities, work obligations, move house, develop new friendships, and establish new boundaries in our personal and work relationships.

Most people don’t get married thinking that they will one day be attending to a separation/divorce and even if you were the one who instigated the divorce, the split still represents a loss that carries long-term life-changing implications in many areas of your life. The time needed to grieve and re-establish balance again will vary for each person and it is important not to move quickly through the grieving phase or you may miss the opportunity to build a strong foundation for establishing your new identity and a new life that has both meaning and purpose.  

The first step to living fabulously after separation/divorce requires you to form a new identity as a single person.  This can be a harrowing task as it first requires us to breakdown our old partnership attachment identity and then to define new values, beliefs, and thinking patterns aligned to our new goals as a single person.  

Living fabulously after separation/divorce is not about becoming a better person but about becoming brand new; reinventing yourself from the inside out. This requires you to begin to make conscious choices about remaking yourself in a different form. It means intentionally doing things differently. This stage of life presents a wonderful opportunity to create a new future for yourself and a life that will allow you to express who you really are. Important considerations to assist you with this include pondering the following; How did I get to this place? What do I now want my life to look and feel like as a newly single person? What steps are now required of me to begin moving in my new direction?

Steps to Living Fabulously include:

1. Allow time to grieve the past. Find ways to work through the lingering emotions from the demise of your partnership. This is essential if you are to successfully wrap up the past, make peace with it and move on to create a brand new you. There is now an empty space in your life and you want to ensure you fill it with people and activities that will be aligned to your new single status. You may want to engage a suitable therapist and/or coach to assist you. 
2. Learn to LOVE YOU! It’s now ME TIME.  Regardless of your other responsibilities ensure you set aside time to begin to envision the life you would like to attract for yourself.  Think about what your new future self looks and feels like.  Where will you be living?  What will you be wearing?  What changes would you like to see occur in the future?  This is a great time to engage in a fitness program, engage a stylist, change your look!
3. Change your vibe by experimenting with a new attitude. How do you want the world to see you? Make time to go through your cupboards and decide what needs to go. Make your motto; “Ta, ta to the old, and hello to the new!”

Be authentic, find your passion and your inner calling.  You now have a blank canvas in front of you and the power to choose the colours and landscape of your new fabulous life.  

Remember happiness is contagious; live fabulously and become someone people want to catch!

About Marina Bakker

Marina Bakker is a Relationship Expert for Modern Times and provides dating and relationship services.  She is a qualified and experienced psychotherapist, coach, educator and author.  Marina offers the latest cutting edge neuroscience education and therapeutic approaches to assist with relationship growth and development in all areas of life. This is achieved by aligning our subconscious mind with our conscious mind to create romantic and intimate soul growth relationships. We come into the world hard-wired for an emotional connection with others. Healthy relationship development requires safe secure attachment bonds that enable emotion and love to enrich us.